wedding and bears

I am married now. Whoa, weird. Though it has only been a few days I am already finding it strange that I actually had our wedding on Saturday, not someone else’s but mine. Thank you to all who have given advice and helped out in the planning and idea giving. FYI: 1pm was the best choice for a ceremony time ever. Also, I am beyond thankful, and thank you again, for those that came to Austin to witness our marriage. I feel truly humbled and blessed, words cannot express my gratitude.
Bears-
We saw bears, not from the car but on the hiking trail… on the top of a mountain. We came around a bend, heard some rustling and down, and onto the trail flew this big black bear… whoa and awesome. I had said I wanted to see a bear, but at that moment had just told Lindsey that this would not be a good place to see a bear… of course it happened… it’s like I have espn or something. Maybe just a Holy Spirit tidbit of intuition… whatever. At this point Lindsey is like, “we should definitely go back down (or back the way we came).” My response, was a very manish “no-way, we have to finish this trail. We should just wait for a little while to see if they leave.” At this point we had looked to see if the bears had continued their meandering down the mountain, but this was not the case. In fact, there were 3 other little cubs, not like medium adult dog sized cubs but legit puppy sized cubs, they were mini…. with huge ears. A few times these little munchkin bears started to walk down the trail toward us but were soon, what sounded like, barked back toward momma. The first time, it looked like they jumped down the mountain but they actually came right back to the road and continued to look at us. After this, they moved back a little; and so our dance and observation with the bears continued. After about ten minutes, the rustling seemed to move to a position above us on the mountain… we were not ready to be “bear pounced.” Thus ended our hike and we retraced the steps that we had so strenuously climbed. Not exactly the outcome that I wanted but you have to fend for the wife at some point and some times that means walking away.

Hopefully, I will be able to find my camera cord so that I can put bear cub pictures up but we will see.

Random note: I hope that I can start to get Lindsey to write on this thing rather than just me.

Are you excited?

I am getting married in 7 days and some change. What question does everyone ask when you are getting married? One of two: Are you excited or do you have cold feet/doubts? That is a tough question because there are two different feelings: excited and interested. Excited is the normal one but interested is not. I am interested because I find it seemingly impossible how two different lives plus individual sin, with strong personalities, are going to come together and find indescribable joy in great happiness and sorrow. In my immediate world this makes no sense. Why am I doing it then? Well, I truly feel Jesus has called us together and given us a chance to experience the gospel and glorify him… I also love her immensely and she is hot too. Only in the framework of the gospel can two sinners experience joy. I do believe that non-Christians can have good marriages but nothing close to the fulfillment and meaning that comes in the understanding of what it was created to be, a mirror of the relationship of Christ in his church.

Anyway, I am seeing my craziness already and it has not even started yet:

1- I like to watch tv shows, movies or sermons while I go to sleep. Apparently that does not fly.

2- Sports memorabilia is ugly I have now been told- How can my entire life be erased just like this- we are compromising on this one… a very small amount.

3- We both think we are right… always. This doesn’t seem to go well at all but it is funny (not at the time) when one person or the other does something differently after being to that this (whatever it is) is the best way to do something just to “show them” that ‘you are not the boss of me.’ Again, this does not go well and is not good, we seem to apologize and repent a lot.

4- I think the way she puts stuff in the house, spatially, is ugly (I have this weird thing about where things are placed and how, most of the time it is for both functional and aesthetic purposes.). She thinks the way I do it is ugly (she looks at it aesthetically, rarely functionally it seems to me).

Another reason why I am interested: There has always been a cognitive knowledge of the reality of it (marriage) but now it is real. I find more and more I really never know anything until I touch it, feel it, experience it. What does this have to do with marriage? Well it is forever, or until death does part us, but those were just words. Now, however, they take upon new meaning… it is forrrrrrevvvvvverrrrrr (sandlot style). Not that this is bad or scary but more like whoa. Next, I will be faced with one of my greatest weaknesses- emotional gentleness. Though Jesus has made great strides in me in this department, I can now wound and hurt and create roots of bitterness more deeply than ever before. Lastly, the combination of forgiveness and trust needs to be instantaneous. All of these things are where the gospel is seen so much because of marriage. When I am sinned against, I must forgive as Jesus forgave and forgives. Previously, if I was sinned against or hurt there would be a period of time before forgiveness or a trust building time, normally a long time (I do not trust well). There is now no longer this earning back trust period. This is not how Christ loves his church, me. He forgives me and I am perfect before a holy God because of what he did, there is no I am going to hold this against you time. His is loving and forgives, is full of grace and mercy. Oh, this is going to be hard and sanctifying but I long to be that Ephesians 5 husband and I pray that Jesus makes me into that.


Driscoll says my favorite thing when it comes to weddings: This marriage is and will be perfect and wonderful… except for these two people.

Why do the computer keyboard makers make us push shift to get a ? when I will by far use that symbol more than /?

I hope this is understandable. Sorry for the typos.

Morality god

From the beginning of life there is yes and no. We create lists of do nots. This lifestyle turns into a: “look you did this against the rules.” We, as a society, create legalists from birth. God has become the checklist or rule book. We feel bad because we have transgressed against the rules and gotten caught. We have made a god out of the rule good. The problem with that is this is not how God works; sin is not like this. When we sin we sin against God, the creator and redeemer of the world. Our sin is not just a small thing but a cosmic rebellion from the holiness of God. We do not want to think this way, why? Because it creates too much pressure on us. When realize that everything that we do, do not do, think, move, and react can all have sinful elements to it that are acts of rebellion against an all powerful and wrathful God there is a weight that we are unable to bear. So, how do we deal with the weight? There are potentially two ways:

1. We cast it off by dismissing it because we do not know how to change it. We are weak and lazy. We get hard hearts and are given over to lusts of our heart because we do not want to deal with our sins. This is one of the reasons why people are hesitant to become Christians. They see it as a ‘religion,’ first and foremost, that puts a bunch of not fun rules on them, which is contrary to the reality of the purposes of God.
2. We realized that we cannot alone get rid of these offenses against God (not the list) and we need a savior who has overcome all things. No longer is the list the measure of a man but the measure is the God-Man, Jesus Christ. He is the bar and there is no other. He lived the life we should have lived and died the death we should have died. This is what we strive for, to understand the process of throwing off sin, who helps us and that it is not fast nor easy but as a surgeon with a scalpel but will be removed totally in the life to come. The list no longer applies and restricts buts shows us the continued need for Jesus and the freedom of the reality of the world in the way creation was intended in the beginning.
Something to try: Instead of saying do not do this, we need to put ourselves in a position to succeed. That does not mean in a box but toward things that connect heart and mind to the Cleansor of all sin.

Flash of genius and new calvinism

Two interesting places to be. One is about a man who invents the modern-day wind shield wiper. His invention is then stolen by the Ford motor company and he proceeds to sue them. His suit is over his patents on the invention and he will not give up until he has beaten "the man" and been given credit for what is rightfully his. What the creators want you to see is that this man let nothing get in his way… nothing. The end of the movie is then a joyous montage of praise and admiration as he is congratulated by men offering him a bottle of champagne. What is missed in the way this man abandoned his family. He ditched them for money and recognition. This is a perfect example of how we have destroyed what is truly the great about human beings- the community and home that family is. We wonder why the elder generations think the young people have gone off the deep end. In many ways these people, images of God, were abandoned for created things (money, power, recognition, etc..). He was given and entrusted with a wife and 6 children but gave that up for his name. I pray that we may truly love our children, younger generation, and not abandon the children and family we are entrusted. We need a miracle.

Secondly, on a brighter more sovereign note… "Calvinism" is back. What does this mean? Funny question because this trend of Christian theology, which was just named (by Time Mag) number 3 on the top 10 ideas changing the world right now, was last 'popular' during the great depression. Funny thing happens when the money runs out… Jesus and his control all of a sudden becomes a reality rather than the magician in the sky. All throughout history there is this crazy bent for there to be these huge ebb and flows of theology, why? Pride. As soon as things begin to go well and life begins to become 'self-sustaining' the reality of God being God and upholding all things by the words of his mouth is forgotten. "I got it" is the favorite phrase of myself and all mankind. What would happen if we all humbly submitted to the reality of God at all times? My mind cannot imagine nor my heart fathom such perfection but the reality is that all men will bow and it will not be because of a lack of cash…

If you did not know Jesus will take care of us. He loves those who call on his name and will provide for them what they truly need. May we realize what we really need. If you do not believe he will take away all your burdens in the truth of what he has done for they will become like dust… if only you believe.

• If you are determined to be Calvinist do not forget to read all the parts of the Bible and understand that there will always be an element of grand mystery.
  

 

I would like to thank the guys in Seattle for hosting me- Joel, Blake, Cole, and Spencer. I had a great time and loved that place. Acts29 and Mars Hill were awesome and I look forward to going back eventually. Please pray for us as we try to discern where we should be after marriage: St. Louis, Austin, Denton, The Woodlands, or Seattle. All of them are great choices and would work out wonderfully but I just have not idea which is the best. Yes I do way over think. Also, the future of a ministry in Europe, church planting and all the things that go into beginning such endeavors.

left, right, new

I have a new layout and hopefully a new blogging attitude. I want to be more connected to the world as well, not just my world.



I am engaged, since the last time I wrote, to Lindsey Shepperd. She is wonderful and can actually deal with the real me. I still forget that now she is supposed to be my constant confidant, and not just sister. We are seeking the Lord on where we are to move, do school (me), minister, and live. It is still up in the air. We thought St. Louis was a viable option, but has not felt right about it. Uberspiritual... maybe, but I just have no desire to move without comfort in the plan. This does not take it out of the equation but...


A good article:
http://www.worldmag.com/articles/15022



In this above article there is a perfect explanation of what hinders the lost from being saved and the churchified lost from being reborn (Yes there is implied within that sentence the idea that there are many lost church folk... many... many). There is religion, the outside in, I do therefore I am justified (whether bowing before gods or man or Godme), or the gospel, I am justified resulting in voluntary, joyful, doing (Jesus does the saving). The end question is where do you start and stand? The left or right? I tend to bounce back and forth but long for the tranquility and passions that come from the middle. Many seem to say they tried it but they didn't try it... I believe you, but give it another shot it might just blow your world up this time... Jesus that is.

Going to the acts29 conference in Seattle in two weeks. I'm not sure if I am pumped or not because I haven't the faintest idea of why i am going. aka-a set of desires that I am there searching out... we will see maybe the heavens will open (i kind of just wrote this to see if adriel really does look for all of the 'literature' about a29 things written the previous days)