March 14, 2008

for michelle de mexico

so its been an interesting month-
Started teaching
Tried to do something that was manufactured, by me, which doesnt go well
sherry ware pointed some more fun things out to me about me... amen from many of you
I dont want to be a big boy, then got a swift kick in the tail by the one and only Jesus... Elaboration- So I bought a house, cool. I never had a college life and want one. Those things and a job and school and teaching and .... do not go all together. They can have a little harmony but being a steward of the blessings comes first, tough lesson. So for future rememberance, if everything feels broken, i mean everything then it just might be. It says that God gives to each of us gifts to the measure of his grace, which Im not sure is grace in the sense of what i view as grace, there is the problem. So I always do everything that is given to me to do, as far as i know. So my problem is not necessarily being lazy meaning not doing things but not being a good steward of the gifts that I have, given by God within me for his glory. When I want to throw a tantrum I half ass things, which means not doing everything to the absolute glory of God to the best of my ability, I do it because I have to and know its the right thing to do. Idiot. Anyway, that is what I am being worked on and working on.
I need more time in the day- to pray, to work,to sleep, to read 1000 pages and write a 15 pg paper for a 2 hour class (seriously), to study greek, to plan lessons, do house work- I am weak and do not know the meaning of hard work.
I am not patient despite the fact that the position im in doesnt allow me to be anything but patient.
I got to have lunch last week with one of the people i admire most in my entire life and who God used to change me, like many others. Praying that he feels better.
i need more than 0 days off in two months from work... call me weak